


lovefool.

by boa_bec



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angel Dust Has Borderline Personality Disorder (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust Has Histrionic Personality Disorder (Hazbin Hotel), Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Child Sexual Abuse, Dark Thoughts, Drug Use, Guns, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Italian Mafia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Murder, Obsession, Organized Crime, Period Typical Attitudes, Period Typical Bigotry, Slurs, Slut Shaming, Trans Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), angel needs help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:01:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boa_bec/pseuds/boa_bec
Summary: i can’t care about anything but you!
Relationships: Alastor/Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust & Cherri Bomb (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust & Molly (Hazbin Hotel), Angel Dust/Husk (Hazbin Hotel)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	lovefool.

**Author's Note:**

> note: leo is arackniss’s human name in case anyone was confused dhdhxhbshxhs
> 
> welcome to another episode of Me Projecting Onto Angel Dust 😌
> 
> another note: angel and molly’s relationship here is 100% familial sibling love dont be a creep abt it pls
> 
> (also when i read this chapter it kinda seems like im....woobifying molly or making her seem 100% sweet and pure and innocent. personally i HATE when the fandom does that but again this is from angel’s pov. he considers molly ‘pure’ in the sense that she’s a good person in his eyes.)

Things used to be easier, you think. Far more simple. Before…you were just a kid. Clumsy and innocent and just slightly  _ off  _ ~~ it was so much easier to smile when you didn’t have to worry about things like work and drug money ~~

Before, things were normal. ~~As ‘normal’ as things have ever been with you.~~ Mother and father seemed to be busy ~~busy drinking, busy yelling and screaming and throwing things, busy getting high, busy being fuck-ups~~ _ all _ the time, leaving you bored; and when you were bored, you and Molly and Leo would play together. 

Remembering those happier times brings a smile (bittersweet and sad, but a smile nonetheless) to your face, even decades later. You’d always been the rowdy one, the troublemaker; you and Molly would play tag in the backyard, getting grass and mud stains all over your clean clothes. Your big brother hung around to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid, just in case you fell out of that tree you were so determined to climb. You thought you saw him smile as he ruffled your hair and called you  _ monello _ \- Leo  _ never _ smiled, and it made you feel so giddy inside.

Then…things changed.  _ He _ changed. Leo wasn’t your brother anymore; he was a monster, the ghost of someone you didn’t recognize. He was too old to play with you now - it seemed all he was doing was following in the footsteps of the man you all ~~feared~~ despised. Night after night, you and Molly were left home alone. You think that was when you stopped seeing Leo as your flesh and blood and started seeing him as a stranger who only hurt you. The happy memories only gave you heartache; a heart that ached for the brother you’d lost. Years went by, and that ache turned to burning  **rage** .

Your love for him, warm and soft and sweet, was gone. In its place was hate; a hatred so fierce you could feel your heart burning. He…left you. He  _ betrayed _ you, and Molly too. Had he ever cared at all? 

Maybe he had, you think. When the three of you were happy together…he was just a kid. Just a kid who loved his siblings (even if he didn’t say it) and wanted to keep them safe and see them grow up happy. But that Leo was gone. Now he was older, and just like your dad, _you’re just like him_ ~~_you were supposed to protect me you fucking traitor_~~

Nowadays…Leo was never there for you. And your father sure as hell didn’t care - dear old dad was too busy teaching Leo ~~how to shoot a gun and bury a body~~ how to be a “man” to care for his daughters.

So Molly cared for you instead (she was technically the older sibling, after all). When you couldn’t seem to stop sobbing, begging and pleading, wondering  _ why, why, why Daddy wouldn’t love you no matter what you did _ …Molly was there to dry your tears and hold you in her arms. When your father spent money on alcohol instead of bills and groceries, Molly made you  _ tetrazzini _ and taught you how to make it, too. When father put you to work and you wore a suit for the very first time and you felt like you were her  _ brother _ instead, Molly offered to cut your hair so you could feel less like a girl, if just a little.

You were dependent on her. Spending so much time together was…unhealthy, you were aware, but you did. She became the air in your lungs, the blood in your veins, the only reason you were still alive. You don’t think Molly knew just how  _ obsessed _ you were, really. To her, you were just her brother, her best friend. Just fucked-up ~~awful, horrible~~ troublemaker Anthony.  _ You weren’t crazy, you weren’t, you didn’t want any of this, you didn’t— _

But your emotions weren’t nearly as stable as your dear sister believed. At times, your love for her - bright and intense and  _ burning _ as it was - began to fade. You thought of Leo - how your dear old dad had  _ corrupted him _ and poisoned his mind until he was your flesh and blood no longer. You knew Molly wasn’t safe from him - none of you were, really. If Molly began aspiring to be just like him as well… _ what would you do? _

Molly never knew the real reason you would stop talking to her out of the blue; she only knew you needed “time” now and then. And, you supposed, it wasn’t a  _ complete _ lie. The thought of losing Molly, the thought of the only thing you cared about in life becoming twisted and warped and corrupted and completely unrecognizable? It  _ terrified _ you. And you’d never been fond of being scared ~~don’t show them your fear, don’t show them your weakness~~

When you were scared, you spent time on your own. That was how things were. To cope with the fear of loss…you tried to distance yourself. Tried to tell yourself you didn’t care if Molly left you. They  _ all _ left, anyway. What was one  _ more _ time being abandoned and left to rot?

Time and time again, you found someone to replace her, to fill the void where your heart should be. Each time, it was a man you barely knew; a few honeyed words and a charming smile and you were his. And each time, you were certain that  _ this was it, he was the one, ~~we’re made for each other, baby.~~ _ But each time…it ended in pain. You never could understand. You were  _ perfect _ , weren’t you? You had the perfect body, the perfect pretty face… _ so why didn’t any of them fucking stay? Why didn’t they love you? You were  _ **_perfect_ ** _ , dammit! An  _ **_angel_ ** _! _

_ (But…no. That wasn’t true. You were…imperfect. That had to be the case - if you were holy, they would be bowing at your feet rather than spitting in your face. How could anyone love you? You’re no angel. ~~Maybe I never was.~~ ) _

Time and time again, you came crawling back to Molly. Soft, sweet Molly. She always understood; she was always so gentle with you. She was always so happy when you started talking to her again - you don’t think you can remember a time in your life when she was genuinely  _ angry _ with you. That was why you adored her so, you would think with a smile. And that was why you needed to keep her safe from anyone looking to  _ taint _ her.

And then…good old Leo went and fucked it all up again. Maybe it  _ was _ your fault - you were the one sleeping around, making a killing from  _ sucking any dick you could get your hands on, filthy little whore _ . Maybe…maybe you weren’t careful enough. But things were going so well! You’d been making a lot more recently - enough to buy you and Molly a nice dinner whenever you were home alone. Despite how shitty your life was…things weren’t exactly  _ terrible _ . But fucking Leo just had to go and mess everything up. Followed you out of the house one night, he’d said as he cornered you in an alleyway after dark.  _ What would Dad think if he knew his little girl was a dirty little cum dumpster? _

Your father…he couldn’t find out. You’d gone half a decade taking every possible precaution to make sure he didn’t find out. Because if he did…it was only a matter of time until the bastard uncovered all your secrets. That you were a  _ tranny _ \- and a  _ tranny homo crackhead _ , at that. If Dad found out…you were  _ dead _ .

So you did the only thing you could think to do.

You ran.

You ran, and never looked back.

You ran, and never saw your darling Molly again.


End file.
